‘Secret Lives of Mormon Wives’ Swinging Drama, Explained

Mormon swingers? TikTok sponsorships? Specialty sodas? They’re all words that normally would never be seen together, but thanks to The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, they are all soaking in the spotlight on Hulu. The reality series following the lives of eight LDS mom influencers is streaming all eight episodes right now, transporting the TikTokers from Utah to an even bigger platform. According to the series, #MomTok refers to a group of Mormon (members of the Church of Latter-Day Saints) influencers, typically Utah-based, who create content about being a modern, religious mother on TikTok, promoting parenting tips and sponsorships. The series follows eight women — Taylor Frankie Paul, Demi Engemann, Jen Affleck, Jessi Ngatikaura, Layla Taylor, Mayci Neeley, Mikayla Matthews, and Whitney Leavitt — as they deal with the aftermath of the viral swinging scandal that spread beyond the “For You” page. Grab a pop, pour it into your Stanley cup, and let’s dive into the other Utah housewife drama.

In May 2022, Taylor Frankie Paul, the self-proclaimed creator of #MomTok, went on TikTok live to share that she and her then-husband, Tate Paul, were getting a divorce. However, it was not the only bomb being dropped; she and Tate were “soft swinging,” meaning that they would switch partners with another couple and hook up without going “all the way.” Taylor claimed that she would hook up with other pairings of the Mormon TikTok community. In the video, she argues, “No one was innocent. Everybody has hooked up with everyone in the situation,” without giving specific names, causing a dumpster fire of accusations across their corner of the internet.

As mentioned earlier, Taylor shared that the reason she got divorced was that she broke the rules of their “soft swinging” agreement with the other couples. But what is “soft swinging” anyway? “Tate and I kind of opened those doors and let people in and vice versa,” Taylor explained in the original video. “I don’t know what you would call it if it’s like ‘soft swinging,’ but you don’t, like, fully switch — if that makes sense — and go all the way. We had an agreement, all of us, and I did step out of that agreement.”

In the series, all the women except Taylor very explicitly deny ever “swinging” or engaging in non-monogamy. While they never name-drop any of the other members of the “swinging” group, it is implied that they are not cast on the show.

The first episode begins several months after the scandal exploded, as Taylor tries to reconnect with the other women just before she was arrested for domestic violence. Around the same time, Whitney Leavitt moved to Hawaii to escape the accusations, only to return to Utah with another secret she’s been hiding. It is called the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives after all. Taylor and Whitney are fighting for the #MomTok throne. Taylor, the former queen of the hashtag, wants to re-earn her place as the leader of the pack, while Whitney wants to take the women in a whole new direction. “We need to get back to what MomTok was,” declared Whitney in the show. In the season preview, another cast member declares war: “There’s a fight for the queen bee of Mom Tok; you’re either Team Taylor or Team Whitney.”

The drama isn’t just coming from inside the house; members of the LDS faith have been criticizing the show, claiming it doesn’t properly represent their religion. “Seeing the backlash from our community has been rough, but I also think that if they gave it a chance they would realize it’s just an empowering show about women in this religion and culture but navigating it differently because we’re all imperfect humans,” Jessi said to ABC4.

Several months after the swinging scandal, Taylor was arrested in February 2023 for domestic violence in the presence of a child after a drunken argument with her boyfriend, Dakota Mortensen. The incident is shown through body-camera footage at the end of the first episode. She reportedly threw a metal chair at Mortensen, who then felt “scared for his life.” He was also next to one of her children, who was also struck by the chair. A detective reported that the child had a “goose egg”-size bump on their head. Taylor pled guilty to aggravated assault in August 2023 and has since documented her sobriety online.