Was Told To Wear Indian Clothes, Change My Identity

Fabulous Lives Vs Bollywood Wives season 3 is currently streaming on Netflix, and there is a lot of new drama this time, courtesy the new entrants. But this season of the show also digs deeper into the lives of the OG Bollywood wives. Neelam Kothari, who is now happily married to actor Samir Soni, opened up to Ektaa R Kapoor about her toxic first marriage to ex-husband Rishi Sethia, her divorce and how it affected her daughter Ahana. Recalling details of how hostile her marriage got, she said, “I was told to wear Indian clothes, give up non-veg, and don’t drink. I was fine with everything, but changing my identity, that is something I was not okay with. I reached a point where I questioned myself, ‘How am I allowing this?'” 

She also added how she would dismiss her identity as an actress at the time to make her marriage work. “I used to be in a supermarket or out for lunch, and someone would come up to me and ask, ‘Are you Neelam the actress?’ I had to say no,” she recounted. 

After a point, she made the difficult decision to end the marriage. “It was hard, but I wanted to make it work. Because for love, you do crazy things. I think it’s something no woman on this earth should ever have to deal with – losing your identity,” she said. 

The actress also shared how her daughter found out about the divorce online, mentioning that this is not how she would have wanted her to find out. Harking back on the moment, she shared, “I came home from work, and Ahana was with her friends. Normally, they’re jumping around, screaming and shouting. But this time, there was pin-drop silence. Ahana came to me and asked, ‘Mama, you never told me you were divorced.'” 

“I just died. I was stumped; I had no words,” Neelam shared how upsetting the moment felt to her as a mother. “Ahana said, ‘No, you’re a celebrity, and my friends and I were Googling you. The first thing that came up was that you were divorced. You were married.’ The first thing that came to my mind was that this was not how I wanted my daughter to find out,” she added. 

Neelam Kothari married Rishi Sethia, a UK-based businessman, in October 2000, which ended following the toxic behavioural patterns. In 2011, she married Samir Soni and in 2013, the couple adopted Ahana together.