What Is An Airport Divorce, And Is It Right For Your Relationship?

Before a flight to Puerto Rico, I made a beeline for the United Club lounge ― alone.

A few months before my trip, I received complimentary passes to the lounge as an incentive for opening a credit card. My husband didn’t fault me for wanting to hit the bar and buffet before boarding. However, because I only had one pass left, he couldn’t join me. Before he could protest, I blew my beloved a kiss and told him I would see him at the gate.

When we reunited on the plane, I expected my husband to be a little testy. I wouldn’t have blamed him for being upset. While I started my vacation early in a quiet corner with unlimited food and drinks, he was stuck in the terminal with the masses. Yet, against all odds, he was content and in a good mood. We were both more relaxed than we usually are on travel days, and we wondered whether separating at the airport should become a habit.

Since then, my husband and I have split up at the airport several times. Even if I’m not relaxing in a lounge, I like having time to myself to decompress and get ahead of work before a flight. Meanwhile, my husband prefers to walk through the terminal while listening to a podcast before sitting still for hours on the plane.

Now, instead of fighting over who has the better approach, we regularly get an “airport divorce.” It’s been great for our relationship, and it makes travel days easier.

An airport divorce may sound extreme, but it’s a lifeline for some couples who often travel together. Although every pair has their own approach, an airport divorce involves temporarily separating at the airport before a flight, sometimes as soon as you arrive and sometimes after security.

The trend is gaining popularity thanks to influencers who swear by the method. Even celebrities are jumping on the airport divorce bandwagon. Kelly Ripa recently proposed that she and her husband, Mark Consuelos, try an airport divorce.

“You and I have different traveling philosophies, different traveling styles,” and an airport divorce might be a good solution, she explained on an episode of “Live with Kelly and Mark.”

Here’s why you might want to consider one and what else you should know:

It’s not surprising that couples often find themselves bickering while waiting for a flight. Packing and getting out of the house, combined with the pressure to stay on a strict schedule, can trigger anxiety, said Nicole Ibarra, a marriage and family therapist at Kaiser Permanente. Then, once you arrive at the airport, things tend to get worse.

Airports are inherently stressful, she said. “Unfamiliar layouts, confusing signage, unexpected delays, long security lines and baggage issues. The security process itself can feel invasive, from removing sweaters and belts to possibly having personal items searched or discarded,” Ibarra explained.

On top of that, airports are often noisy, crowded and overwhelming to the senses, which can lead to overstimulation, she added.

Combining all of these stressors can naturally lead to tension or even arguments, especially between partners, Ibarra said.

An airport divorce may be a solution to keeping the peace. Temporarily separating at the airport can be a great way to decompress, Ibarra explained. “Travel days are often filled with stress. Spending some solo time at the airport allows each partner to recharge before the trip begins,” she said.

Moreover, “since couples often spend a lot of time together during travel, taking some personal time at the airport can promote balance and self-care,” she said.

Plus, the way you start your trip can set the tone for the rest of your vacation, so you want to start on a good note, said Rebecca Tenzer, a licensed clinical social worker who owns Astute Counseling Services and specializes in divorce.

“A little space before a long flight can actually make the ‘together time’ feel lighter,” she explained. If you take time to decompress on your own, you may be less likely to snap at your partner over seat assignments and are more likely to laugh about the chaos,” she explained. You are also more likely to have a relaxed trip in the days to come.

Sarah Pardi, a marketing professional who frequently travels with her husband, finds that separating from her partner at the airport is essential.

“We do this because we both have very different approaches to the airport experience,” she explained. “I see it kind of like a Las Vegas casino. Time ceases to exist. We’re all just out there fighting for our lives. He sees it as just another thing to do, no stress, no worry.”

Pardi and her partner realized that they each needed to prioritize their own needs to cope with the stress of flying, and an airport divorce was the answer.

“It’s easier to go solo for a little while. This gives us each time to ourselves where we can go at the pace that we need to go,” she said. By separating at the airport and reuniting at the gate, Pardi and her partner board the plane “fresh-headed, happy to see one another and ready for the next stage of the trip, while avoiding any little unnecessary quarrels,” she said.

Although getting an airport divorce may seem like a sign a couple is heading for disaster, it can actually signal a healthy relationship, said Prerna Menon, a psychotherapist and relationship expert at Boundless Therapy.

She explained that most people think they should be able to “work through conflict and do the journey, check in to departure, together.” However, it’s unrealistic to expect that approach to work for everyone, Menon explained.

According to Menon, choosing an airport divorce doesn’t make your relationship any less resilient. “If anything, it is a sign of emotional attunement, relationship awareness and conflict management,” she said.

While taking a break from one another at the airport can be beneficial, it’s not a good solution for everyone. “Some couples may find they actually feel more anxious or disconnected when apart,” Ibarra explained.

An airport divorce may create more stress for some couples. For example, if one half of a couple prefers to stay at the gate and count down the minutes until boarding, they may be worried that their partner will miss their flight if they wander too far, Tenzer explained.

Or some people may be anxious in crowded environments or feel nervous about flying and need their partner to help keep them calm and grounded, Menon said. For these types of couples, staying together might be the more comforting choice.

Other couples may prefer a hybrid approach. For example, a couple may choose to separate while one person goes shopping and another grabs a beer at the airport bar, Ibarra said. Then, they can reconvene for a preflight meal or plan to meet at the gate early so they can board together, creating a partial airport divorce. “The key is flexibility,” she explained.

If an airport divorce sounds interesting but you aren’t sure if it’s right for you, Ibarra suggested trying one on your next trip.

“Afterward, talk about what felt better,” staying together or taking some time apart, Ibarra said. “This approach not only supports open communication but also helps you figure out your ideal pretravel rhythm as a couple.”

Ibarra emphasized that every couple is different. “It’s all about finding what works best for your unique dynamic,” she said.

Before attempting an airport divorce, Pardi recommended setting some ground rules. “If you try this out, make sure that you have a clear expectation about when you’ll meet back up. It can be stressful to get to the gate and not see your partner. Also, have a clear rule about communication. Are you texting? Giving updates?” she said. “The airport divorce is all about knowing what to expect and doing things in a way that makes sense for your relationship.”

Ibarra emphasized keeping the goal of an airport divorce in mind. “It’s not about creating distance. It’s about learning what brings you closer,” she explained.

While “relationships thrive on connection and calm during the storms, healthy relationships also require giving each other some breathing room,” Tenzer explained.

“Sometimes love means saying, ’See you at the gate,” she said.