By now, you’ve probably seen all the absolutely terrible reviews of Ryan Murphy’s new Hulu series “All’s Fair.” Critics have excoriated the series calling it a “clumsy, condescending girlboss fantasia,” “empty and unforgivably dull,” and “fascinatingly, existentially terrible.” It received a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
But you should ignore these headlines and watch the show anyway. “All’s Fair” is must-see TV.
The legal drama has a star-studded cast including Kim Kardashian, Naomi Watts, Niecy Nash-Betts, Glenn Close, Sarah Paulson and Teyana Taylor.
Here’s the overall gist of the show: Allura Grant (Kardashian) and Liberty Ronson (Watts) leave a stodgy, male-dominated law firm to start their own firm, “Women representing women, only” as Liberty calls it. They get the blessing to leave the firm from Dina Standish (Glenn Close) who lets them take one person with them, and that ends up being Emerald Greene (Niecy Nash-Betts). That pisses off Carrington “Carr” Lane (Sarah Paulson), another lawyer at the firm, who has a dramatic crash out for not getting Dina’s approval to leave first. Ten years later, Carr is still pissed and promises to rain hell on the ladies any chance she can get.
In the first three episodes of the series — subsequent episodes will be released weekly on Tuesdays on the streamer — Allura, Liberty and Emerald take on new divorce cases. There are a bunch of incredible special guests in each episode, including Judith Light, Jessica Simpson and Elizabeth Berkley who serve as their clients. Meanwhile, there’s drama afoot in Allura’s personal life: Chase (Matthew Noszka), her football-playing husband of five years, wants a divorce and has been cheating on her several times over.
I can see why critics are lambasting the show. There are moments where “All’s Fair” channels a bit of Netflix’s popular reality series “Selling Sunset,” where a team of ambitious real estate agents show off multimillion-dollar houses in bright, often skimpy outfits. (This Allura outfit from “All’s Fair” is especially unforgivable.) The writing is often nonsensical and cutting in a way that feels like it was taken straight out of a battle royale on “The Real Housewives” franchise.
And yes, Kardashian’s performance leaves much to be desired. She recites lines like she has no clue how to act out any emotion. She doesn’t even know how to get mad that her husband cheated on her, and seems pretty stoic after realizing that he’d been sleeping with her assistant Milan (Teyana Taylor) and bought her a house. She does fantasize about busting the windows out of Milan’s car in a yellow dress a la Beyoncé in “Hold Up,” but alas that anger is reserved for a dream.
All of that aside, the show is pretty entertaining, especially if you are a person who likes to turn their mind off when watching television. That same criticism about the show playing out like a reality TV show is what actually makes it fun to watch.
Paulson and Close have some incredible scenes where it seems like they’re about to claw each other’s eyes out, and this soapy, unhinged writing really soars when these actors just let each other have it. If nothing else, you should watch to see them battle each other.
“Carr, do you ever think how much happier we’d all be if your mother swallowed?” Close’s character Dina asks Paulson’s Carr in Episode 2.
I’m still getting over the fact that Close said “I can smell your nappy pussy” in 2024’s actually terrible horror film “The Deliverance.” Her new “All’s Fair” quote should make her hall of fame of one-liners, too.
Paulson has a few wow-did-she-just-say-that lines as well: “Little Allura-durable can’t have a little baby of her own in that little cobweb dusty womb of hers.” Now, I’m not here for womb-shaming, and by God I’d also NEVER want to make an enemy of Paulson and whoever wrote this script, but imagine being able to string these words together and deliver them with such deadly venom.
“Having me as an enemy is very unwise,” Carr says in the first episode.
I won’t test you, Ms. Paulson.
Nash-Betts is her usual charming self in the series, and so far has the least cringey moments as Emerald, the sharp and intrepid investigator at the firm.
The series is also cinematically beautiful and features a great soundtrack: Janet Jackson’s “Someone To Call Me Lover” plays out in Episode 1, and there’s a perfect transition from Dionne Warwick’s “Walk on By” to Doja Cat’s “Paint The Town Red” in Episode 2.
The “All’s Fair” team has clearly read the criticism online.
Close responded in the perfect way on Instagram this week with a drawing of the cast and a little picture of a rabbit cooking in a pot that says “critic-bunny stew,” in homage to her epic yet diabolical scene in “Fatal Attraction.”
Let these critics stew over your performance, Glenn.
“Have you tuned in to the most critically acclaimed show of the year!?!?!?” Kardashian slyly posted on Instagram, with some social media reactions of people who are obsessed with the show.
There are several people who have been gushing over the series online, citing Paulson’s menacing performance and how the negative reviews just encouraged them to watch anyway.
Anthony Hemingway, who directed Episodes 2 and 3 of the series, had this to say about the negative reviews: “It may not be for you, and that’s OK, but I personally enjoy the show. I had a lot of fun relating to it in my own way. Not everything is for everybody,” Hemingway told The Hollywood Reporter.
“Everything is so dark and heavy and decisive, and here you have this show that can connect to real conversations, but with a different palette,” he continued. “It’s a way to connect to the human condition and certain aspects of humanity. I think that it ultimately delivers. I do. I believe it. Hopefully opinions will change. But if they don’t, then they don’t. What we are all doing excites us, and we stand by it.”
There are so many dark — like, literally too dark, please turn on the stage lights! — TV series that deserve and require a lot of our attention; they’re the kinds of shows that stick with us even when they’re no longer on the air. Those series have their places, and will get their awards and accolades, and rightfully so. But sometimes, you just want a TV show that has plenty of salacious drama to keep you hooked and that can whisk your mind away from the seemingly never-ending problems of the real world.
Is “All’s Fair” a “good” TV show? Maybe not.
But will I keep watching to see what mayhem is ahead?
The first three episodes of “All’s Fair” are streaming on Hulu. The new episodes stream weekly on Tuesdays.
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